


Where Our Desires Are

by alexcat



Series: For the Fallen [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 15:38:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Steve and Thor find some common ground and a little more.





	Where Our Desires Are

**Author's Note:**

> This little bit takes place right before the party where Ultron reveals himself
> 
> The poem is a WWI poem called "For the Fallen" You can read it all at the end.
> 
> The sequel is [**In the Time of our Darkness**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222446).

This little bit takes place right before the party where Ultron reveals himself.  
*  
_But where our desires are and our hopes profound,_  
_Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,_  
_o the innermost heart of their own land they are known_  
_As the stars are known to the Night;_  
~ Laurence Binyon (For the Fallen) *

Thor liked fighting with the Avengers. He liked them all. Stark he didn’t really understand, but he still liked him. He was a little upset that he never got to see Jane anymore but she was always busy. That was okay, though, since no one else seemed to have a mate either. Stark had the pretty Potts woman, but she was seldom around. None of the rest seemed to have anyone either so he didn’t feel too left out. 

They were staying at Avenger Tower for a few days after the mission to stop Strucker and get the scepter back. Thor had gone with them mostly for that reason and they got it – again. 

Stark was throwing a party in a couple of days, but for now, they all had a chance to rest and decompress a bit. Thor thought about calling Jane but decided to wait until after the party. 

He looked into the room he’d been given. It was okay, had a big bed, which worked well for him since he was also quite big. He decided to shower. He actually had some normal clothes here as well. Jane had insisted that he wear them when they went out. He particularly liked what they called sweats and hoodies. They were so soft and comfortable to wear. 

Fifteen minutes later, Thor, son of Odin, was drying his long hair with a towel and was dressed in baggy grey sweatpants and a black hoodie. He toweled this hair until it stopped dripping and combed it. He preferred it dry by itself than use the hot thingie that humans liked so much. 

He stretched out on the bed and turned on the television. He was snoring in less than five minutes. 

*

Steve went to find Thor. They ordered pizzas for dinner and they’d arrived. Natasha sent him to find Thor.

He tapped on the Asgardian’s door. No answer. He tried the knob. It opened. He stepped inside and saw Thor asleep. He looked a little like a very large boy, lying there with his face relaxed. 

“Hey, Thor!” He rapped on the door. 

Thor didn’t wake and Steve didn’t have the heart to bother him. He joined the others, but for some reason, kept thinking of Thor alone. He nabbed a couple of cold ones and a box of pizza and headed to Thor’s room. 

He opened the door and stepped inside. Thor opened one eye and looked at him. 

“Brought you some food.” 

Thor sat up and stretched. “I am starving. Do I smell pizza?” 

“Yup.” He handed Thor a beer and opened the box on the bed. They both scooped up a piece and sat back to eat it. 

“Mmm. It’s good. One of my favorite earth foods. And no cooking.” 

Steve found himself looking at Thor, all tousled and sleepy. It was no wonder all the women who worked with them jockeyed to be close to him. He was a magnificent specimen of a man – or god! 

Steve stopped dead in his tracks. Where the hell had that come from? 

“Thanks,” Thor said with a sunny smile. 

Steve nodded. 

*

Later in his own room, Steve revisited the thought about Thor. Seriously, where had that come from? 

Steve enjoyed the comradery he shared with the other Avengers. He was a man out of time and this was his only life, unlike Tony and the others. Perhaps Natasha was in a similar situation. 

He did get lonely sometimes. He had dated a few of the women at S.H.I.E.L.D. and had even taken Maria Hill out once. He’d had sex with some of them on occasion as well. He’d been with Natasha a few times and while he loved her a great deal, it was still more as a best friend than anything else. 

His thoughts went back to Thor. All the women were crazy about him, but he actually kept to himself mostly. Steve had met Jane once and was a little surprised that the two of them were a couple. Jane was the quintessential scientist, brilliant and single-minded about her work. Thor was the opposite of her in most ways. 

He was also a fifteen hundred year old alien from another world. 

He decided to sleep a little himself. 

His dreams were plagued with monsters from his past: Schmidt, the Chitauri, Pierce, Strucker… the list grew and grew. Even Thor’s brother was among the monsters. Who knew what other monsters lurked out there? He thought about the twins they saw in Strucker’s lair. 

He tossed and turned and tried to sleep for another couple of hours before he gave up. 

He turned on the laptop that Tony had given him. He did something he’d never done. He searched for porn. And he found it. He clicked on a link with a threesome and got way more than he’d expected. Two young men and a young woman were in the scene. He’d had a couple of girls once or twice when he was touring in that ridiculous bond show, but never been in a threesome with another man. He didn’t think much about it until the girl and one of the men began giving oral sex to the second man. 

Sitting in his own bedroom, Steve blushed and clicked the x in the top corner of the screen. Almost immediately, he found the link in his history and went back to it. He watched, biting his lip as he felt his own arousal. 

Shit! What the fuck was he doing?

He slipped his hand inside his pants and touched himself. 

Steve had grown up in a world more repressed than this world and he still felt like he was doing something wrong when he masturbated. It didn’t stop him now any more than it had then, but he still felt residual guilt from a bygone era. 

He closed his eyes, listening to the sounds but not watching. As his hand moved, Thor flashed in his mind. He smacked the table with his free hand. Dammit, what the hell? 

*

Thor was having strange thoughts, too. He was worrying that Jane was too smart for him. He loved her, but he couldn’t talk to her about science stuff. He was more at home talking to Darcy, who mostly just stared at him all agog when she thought he wasn’t looking. 

Jane hadn’t seemed to have much time for him since London. 

He made a sad face in the mirror in his bathroom. 

He headed down the hall. Maybe Rogers was still awake. They could raid the kitchen or find an all night bar or better yet, a diner, somewhere. 

He tapped on Rogers’ door.

“What?” was the rather strangled reply.

“Can I come in?”

“Wait a second.” He heard Steve doing something then the door opened. Steve was blushing. Thor looked around him to see if there was a girl in the room. No one. 

He stepped into the room. Something odd was going on. “I, uh, came by to ask if you wanted to go out to a bar or something. I can’t sleep. I keep worrying about Jane and myself.”

Steve still looked rather stricken. “I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the bathroom and stood against the closed door. 

Thor yelled to him. “If I’m disturbing, I can come back.”

“No, I’m fine. Just –“ He opened the door and came out, looking only a little more composed than he was when he went in. “Let me grab a jacket.”

Thor was no idiot. He noticed the ridge in Rogers’ pants. He didn’t think much about it one way or the other. These humans had odd ways sometimes. 

They found a diner, forgoing beer for food. Greasy burgers and French fries with giant sodas. Steve didn’t say much. Thor was chattering away about Jane and Marcy, about London and the attack of the Dark Elves, about turning down the kingship when he finally noticed that Steve was far away. 

“And I flew on a horse to Mars and had dinner with the queen,” he finished as Steve nodded as if he were listening. “Rogers! What is the matter? You’ve been elsewhere all evening.”

* 

“Just processing some stuff,” Steve answered, when to himself he said, ‘like how I want to feel those damn muscles in your thighs.’

“Is there a woman?” 

Steve had drifted again but he did catch that question. “A woman? No. It’s just, uh, issues.”

Thor shrugged and got up. “Let’s find some ice cream. I like it almost as much as sex.”

Steve nearly choked on his soda. “Sex?” 

“No. Ice cream. I want ice cream. Well, I always want sex, too, but sometimes you have to settle for ice cream.”

A part of Steve, the part that still was about half hard, kept saying. ’You can have sex, too!’ 

“Oh, sure. I like chocolate.” 

Thor said, “I like it all. Sweet and creamy and delicious!” He raised an eyebrow at Steve. 

They found a little place that was open and had ice cream. They both got a cone and while they sat, enjoying the sweet delight, Thor asked a question that knocked Steve for a loop. “Have you ever kissed a man?”

“Whoa! Where did _that_ come from?” Steve was getting very uncomfortable about where this is going. 

“Well, I am surrounded by men most of the time and Jane is not around much anymore and I was thinking about it. The Valkyrie are pretty open with their relationships with one another and no one minds. I watch television and it’s supposed to be socially acceptable here now.”

“I grew up in a different world and this new world is hard for me to get used to.”

“So no then. Have you thought about it?” Thor was awfully single minded. 

“Not until very recently.”

The half hard part of Steve was paying attention now. It was sending images of kissing (and doing more to) Thor to Steve’s brain. 

Thor stopped licking that damned cone and looked at him. “Who have you been thinking about kissing?” His tongue darted out again and he swirled his tongue around the ice cream. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!! 

This was more embarrassing than weighing 98 pounds and being afraid of girls. 

“No one in particular.” 

Thor wasn’t buying it. “Come on, you can tell me.” 

How the hell had this happened? Maybe he should have gone on a few more dates. Seriously, Thor? If he’d stop licking that damned ice cream cone…

Steve wasn’t half hard anymore. He was achingly hard and had no idea how the hell he was going to leave his seat any time in the near future. 

“You can kiss me,” Thor said very casually. Too casually, Steve thought. 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because you’ve been staring at my mouth for twenty minutes. I might not be as smart as Stark, but I am that smart.”

“Well, not here.” 

Thor laughed. “Of course not. Maybe in the car? I like kissing in cars.” 

Steve wondered if he pinched himself hard enough, he’d wake up. 

They finished their ice cream and went to the car. Steve wondered where Thor got a car. Maybe it was Jane’s. 

As soon as the doors closed, Thor turned to him. He reached across the seat in the old sedan and took Steve’s face in his hands and kissed his lips. It was short as kisses go, but rather forceful and not a little passionate and it left Steve breathless and wanting. 

He kissed him again as he rubbed the hard ridge in Steve’s pants. Steve groaned out loud. 

“Did you think I was blind and dumb?” Thor said as he paused in his kisses. He unfastened Steve pants and freed him. 

“Oh,” was Steve’s only comment as Thor slid his hand up and down his penis. Thor had hundreds of years to perfect his craft and he made short work of Steve, who grunted softly and spilled over Thor’s hand. 

Thor wiped Steve and his hand. “I think perhaps we’d better go. That fellow there looks as if he might come to see what we’re up to.” 

Steve righted himself as they drove away. 

On the ride back, Thor asked Steve, “Was that what you wanted?” 

Steve had no idea what to say. Of course it was. He hadn’t known it, but it was perfect. He wanted more. He wanted to touch Thor, to reciprocate somehow. 

“Thank you,” was finally what he came up with. 

“You can pay me back when we are somewhere more private,” Thor was quiet for a moment, then added, “though I do like making out in cars.” 

*

Steve had no idea that Thor was as bewildered by his own behavior as Steve was his. He had surprised even himself when he flirted with Steve and especially when he talked about kissing. 

He knew he was lonely and missing Jane, but he hadn’t expected to enjoy Rogers and especially to want Rogers like he suddenly did. The sounds Steve made when he came had set him on fire! He wanted more, wanted Steve to touch him, kiss him, more. 

As soon as they were back at Avenger Tower, they parked in the garage and rushed to the elevators. Thor pushed Steve against the wall and kissed him, grinding his hips against him. Steve put his hands on Thor’s ass, encouraging him. The doors opened too quickly and Natasha stood grinning at the two of them in each other’s arms. 

“My, my, look at you boys,” she drawled as they glared at her. They got off and headed for Thor’s room because it was closer. 

As soon as the door closed, Steve pushed Thor toward the bed. Thor sat on the edge of the bed and Steve pushed him onto his back. He tugged at Thor’s zipper and soon his pants were opened enough for Steve to touch him. Thor didn’t move a muscle as he watched Steve. 

He looked up at Thor. “I want us both naked. I want to see all of you.”

“I have no problem with that.” They undressed one another rather hurriedly. 

“I didn’t know I wanted this,” Steve said as he licked his lips and tasted Thor’s cock. Thor made a sound and Steve became bolder. He licked him from base to tip, sucking him in as he did. He found that he wanted badly to please Thor.

“It feels good, Rogers. So good,” Thor put one hand on Steve’s head. He let one hand wander down to touch Steve, to encircle him. He began to move his hand in the same rhythm with Steve’s mouth. “Come with me, Steve,” he growled in that deep rumbling voice. 

Steve did as he was told and they lay still and quiet afterwards, Thor flat on his back and Steve on his side.

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Steve finally said. It was the simplest of the jumble of thoughts in his head. He hadn’t meant to do this with Thor or anyone else. 

“Nor did I, my friend. I don’t regret it. It was – I liked it. A lot.” Thor smiled lazily at Steve and reached a lazy hand to touch his face. 

“So did I. Beats the hell out of being alone anytime.” Steve knew that while the sex was wonderful and a delicious distraction from the real issues, not being alone for a little while was the best part for him. But he probably should go. 

Steve started to get up. 

“You can stay here tonight. With me,” Thor said. Steve knew that was probably the closest Thor could come to professing his own loneliness. 

Steve nodded and they moved so they both lay side by side in the bed. This night and the next would be the last peaceful moments they saw for quite a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> For the Fallen  
> By Laurence Binyon
> 
> With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,  
> England mourns for her dead across the sea.  
> Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,  
> Fallen in the cause of the free.
> 
> Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal  
> Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,  
> There is music in the midst of desolation  
> And a glory that shines upon our tears.
> 
> They went with songs to the battle, they were young,  
> Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.  
> They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;  
> They fell with their faces to the foe.
> 
> They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:  
> Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.  
> At the going down of the sun and in the morning  
> We will remember them.
> 
> They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;  
> They sit no more at familiar tables of home;  
> They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;  
> They sleep beyond England’s foam.
> 
> But where our desires are and our hopes profound,  
> Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,  
> To the innermost heart of their own land they are known  
> As the stars are known to the Night;
> 
> As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,  
> Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;  
> As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,  
> To the end, to the end, they remain.


End file.
